Do you ever see a friend making a choice that you’re sure is a mistake, but you bite your tongue? You don’t want to offend, to step on toes, to be wrong. If you speak up, you might lose the friend. Yes, it’s risky. But what if your concern could be helpful, even a life-changer? […]
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Tricking Myself
// dsaw_admin // Aging, All, Essays
If you saw how fit I am today, at 77, you might think I’m one of those sportive types who love to sweat and push themselves physically. But you’d be wrong, totally wrong. I so dislike exercise (let alone sweating!) that I have to trick myself into doing it. I think it’s fair to say: […]
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Older And Better
// dsaw_admin // Aging, All, Essays
Old age (whenever you think it begins) is commonly seen as an inescapably depressing, downward slope toward death, accompanied by a continuous string of losses. Who wouldn’t dread it? I am now 77 — old by most definitions — but I’ve been surprised to find the changes I notice aren’t any greater than those I’ve […]
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our dogs, ourselves
// dsaw_admin // All, Essays
The depth of our grief when a pet dies can astonish us. If so, we may have come to rely on it emotionally for more than just companionship. It’s only natural to find in a relationship with a pet what we ourselves most need. It’s only natural to read human emotions and thoughts in our […]
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Taking on Ageism
// dsaw_admin // Aging, All, Essays
I force myself to be scrupulously honest in my writing — pushing beyond comfort, if need be — but for years I’ve avoided revealing my age to readers. I worry that false stereotypes about aging will keep them from identifying with me. Recently, though, I’ve been thinking of coming clean. When I brought up this […]
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Loving a Parent You Hate
// dsaw_admin // All, Blog, Essays
When Bill Clinton asked Nelson Mandela, the first Black President of South Africa, if he wasn’t angry at his jailers after 27 years in prison, he famously replied, “…if I continued to hate them, they would still have me. I wanted to be free, and so I let it go.” Mandela knew that despite being […]
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breaking old habits
// dsaw_admin // All, Essays, Travel Lessons
Habits are useful. If we had to make decisions about every little thing we do everyday, we’d never have brain space for anything that requires thought. Doing routine things on autopilot is efficient. But as we age, more and more activities become habitual. Life becomes more routinized. We settle in. And it can feel like […]
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a scam’s silver lining
// Elizabeth Marcus // All, Essays
I realized I’d been hacked when a cousin texted to say he’d received a message that didn’t sound like me: “Hello, I need a favor from you. I’d appreciate it if you could email me back asap. Am unavailable on the phone. Please let me know if you are online. Thank you. Elizabeth.” And then the […]
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Worth the Terror
// Elizabeth Marcus // All, Essays
Like most people, I was terrified of public speaking. All those eyes on you, giving you their full attention, judging you, and waiting for you to humiliate yourself. The opportunity for disaster was too great to ever risk it. As a result, I used to help my husband write speeches and toasts and sit by […]
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Our Histories Live On
// Elizabeth Marcus // All, Essays
I could have felt hurt or offended. A very close friend admitted to me that he couldn’t bring himself to finish my recently published book, a seriocomic memoir called, “Don’t Say a Word!: A Daughter’s Two Cents”. The book is about my parents’ bizarre unraveling at the end of their lives and their refusal to […]