At least about this we can all agree: our politics are more partisan than ever. People with opposing views seem like crazed aliens to one another. The bitter rage frightens me, and not just the rage in other people. I have strong views, myself, and reading certain opinions that clash with mine can make me […]
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crossing the line
// dsaw_admin // All, Essays
Do you ever see a friend making a choice that you’re sure is a mistake, but you bite your tongue? You don’t want to offend, to step on toes, to be wrong. If you speak up, you might lose the friend. Yes, it’s risky. But what if your concern could be helpful, even a life-changer? […]
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Tricking Myself
// dsaw_admin // Aging, All, Essays
If you saw how fit I am today, at 77, you might think I’m one of those sportive types who love to sweat and push themselves physically. But you’d be wrong, totally wrong. I so dislike exercise (let alone sweating!) that I have to trick myself into doing it. I think it’s fair to say: […]
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Our Unknowable Face
// dsaw_admin // Aging, Essays
It’s natural to assume that our image in a mirror or photo is what others see when they look at us. We think we’re seeing reality. And yet, for many reasons, we’re likely to be wrong. In fact, when we have a chance to view ourselves as a stranger might, we may not even recognize […]
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Older And Better
// dsaw_admin // Aging, All, Essays
Old age (whenever you think it begins) is commonly seen as an inescapably depressing, downward slope toward death, accompanied by a continuous string of losses. Who wouldn’t dread it? I am now 77 — old by most definitions — but I’ve been surprised to find the changes I notice aren’t any greater than those I’ve […]
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our dogs, ourselves
// dsaw_admin // All, Essays
The depth of our grief when a pet dies can astonish us. If so, we may have come to rely on it emotionally for more than just companionship. It’s only natural to find in a relationship with a pet what we ourselves most need. It’s only natural to read human emotions and thoughts in our […]
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Taking on Ageism
// dsaw_admin // Aging, All, Essays
I force myself to be scrupulously honest in my writing — pushing beyond comfort, if need be — but for years I’ve avoided revealing my age to readers. I worry that false stereotypes about aging will keep them from identifying with me. Recently, though, I’ve been thinking of coming clean. When I brought up this […]
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Loving a Parent You Hate
// dsaw_admin // All, Blog, Essays
When Bill Clinton asked Nelson Mandela, the first Black President of South Africa, if he wasn’t angry at his jailers after 27 years in prison, he famously replied, “…if I continued to hate them, they would still have me. I wanted to be free, and so I let it go.” Mandela knew that despite being […]
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breaking old habits
// dsaw_admin // All, Essays, Travel Lessons
Habits are useful. If we had to make decisions about every little thing we do everyday, we’d never have brain space for anything that requires thought. Doing routine things on autopilot is efficient. But as we age, more and more activities become habitual. Life becomes more routinized. We settle in. And it can feel like […]
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Deep Dreams
// dsaw_admin // Decoding Our Parents, Essays
A few years ago, when we dispersed my mother-in-law’s possessions after her death at 96, I accidentally ended up with one of her nightgowns. Pearl’s long, floaty, pink gown was not quite new and not my style. And yet, on what seemed like a whim at the moment, I tried it on and found I […]